More than Mom

I've been having a really hard time trying to figure out what I want to do. I quit my job in order to be home for my husband and children, and was planning on getting back into real estate. Once we figured out that my husband was making enough overtime to cover my pay for a few months, I decided to "think" a little more on what I really want.

I have been having bad hair days like you wouldn't believe. Litterally, bad hair days! I feel like a frumpy house wife because my hair isn't nice. I haven't had a hair cut in a year, the length is starting to really bother me, and now I keep noticing that my eyebrows are a darker color than my hair! And I don't even dye my hair! I found a box of hair dye under my cabinet that I may just use today.

But, I don't now if dying my hair is going to make me feel any better. I think I'm going through an identity crisis. My husband and I had an argument the other day, and then he told me that he loved me. When he listed the reasons, one of them was that I was the mother of his kids. I didn't hear anything else he said after that. All I heard was: Mother. Is that all I am now? I don't have a job anymore, I haven't seen friends in a very, very long time because I've been busy working and being mom for the past 2 years. I don't go to all of my family's parties and events, because my family is huge and I hate to pick and choose who I see. My husband works a lot, and I don't have anyone who can watch my kids in a moment's notice if I want to go on a date with my husband.

So, for now, I guess "Mom" will have to do. It's not that I don't love being a mom. I do love it, and it's the best job I've ever had. It's the hardest, most unappreciated, challenging job that I've ever had. It is also the most rewarding job I've ever had.

Anyone else having, or had, an identity crisis after having kids? I would love to know that I'm not alone!